Castle Walls
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: Brittany is in an abusive relationship. Mckinley is having their 10th year reunion and the only reason she even contemplates in going, is because she knows that the one person who can ever save her, will most definitely be there. *S2 spoilers*
1. She Remembers

It was a Wednesday, she remembered, because he had left for work early that day.  
>He always left for work early on Wednesdays.<br>She had gone out to grab the mail and come across an envelope which had been stamped in Lima.  
>Lima, Ohio.<br>How she did not miss that place one bit, sure she missed the people, but never Lima.

Rain had started to drizzle, she remembered, because she was barefoot and tiny puddles had begun to form on the concrete leading up to the steps of her house.  
>She had stood there for quite some time, letting the calm breeze fill her lungs with air, as the raindrops gently fell on her face.<p>

Almost soaking wet, she retreated back and slipped into the wide open door. She remembered, because she had left muddy footprints all the way into the kitchen, where she had jumped up onto the counter, to read what was in the envelope.

_"Class of 2012!_  
><em>Hello Classmates,<em>  
><em>It's about that time –Please join in the celebration of McKinley High's 10th year reunion and we want to see <span>YOU<span> there!"_

Brittany had let the piece of paper slip out of her hand and sail to the floor like a bird's feather, ever so gently. She remembered, because it was still there when he got home.

"Honey?" The door was slammed shut and Brittany jumped at the sound. She was still upstairs, overusing foundation, to rid some ugly marks on her face. She was getting better at hiding them. "Coming!" She yelled as she did not want to keep him waiting any longer than she necessarily had to.  
>This wasn't the first time she had to cover up a mark like this. Usually it would be bruises and open wounds, she had been lucky this time.<p>

Brittany remembered, because there had been times when she had not been as lucky, there'd been times where a trip to the emergency room had been required. A sprained ankle was understandable, but that, plus multiple fractures a few times a month? It just didn't add up.

Brittany remembered, because her friends had started to wonder;_ 'You need to leave.'_ They would tell her, but she never did, otherwise she wouldn't be this battered and broke down.

"B, get your ass down here!" She worked on the final touches and ran her fingers through her disheveled honey blonde hair, took a deep breath and prepared herself mentally, before going downstairs to greet him.

He was waiting for her in the living room. "What's this?" He asked, holding out a piece of paper. "It's, it's nothing." She lied, not wanting to start anything that would end in tears and pain. "It's obviously not nothing, had it been nothing it would've been in the trash and not on my kitchen floor, right?" At this Brittany had just nodded. Agreeing with him had saved her, on plenty of occasions. "You're not going." In her mind, she had already known that this would be his answer, so it wasn't as if she was disappointed or anything when he actually said it. "Okay."

Brittany was broken, he had broken her. He had taken all of her dreams and crushed them, one by one, until they were no more.  
>Non-existing, was what she was.<br>She had always wanted to make the world dance. Because when she danced all of her worries flew right out the door. She had been really good too.  
>He knew, because that's how they met.<p> 


	2. A Step Back In Time

_5 years earlier in a dance studio - Downtown LA.__  
><em>_  
><em>"He's staring at you again." Brittany pulled Santana forward as they continued to stretch, so she would be able to subtly look up. "Who even is he?" Santana shrugged, it wasn't like she cared anyway. "Do you wanna do coffee after, or?" Brittany shyly turned her head when she was caught glaring. "Hey! Brit-Brit? Coffee?"

They didn't have coffee that day.  
>And Brittany didn't call Santana that night, like she normally would've done.<br>Because that was in fact the day when Brittany met the man from the gym, who would later become her husband.

Since a very early age, the two girls had had a strong connection.  
>They'd met on the playground at the age of 5. Brittany was sat building sandcastles and Santana had walked right up, to steal her bucket. "You're not using it anyway." Brittany's eyes had begun to water. "But, I was." Tears started to flow freely down her cheeks, which had made Santana feel a bit guilty, she watched Brittany run towards the monkey bars, only to come back holding a yellow bucket. "Here, you can have this one. Now give me my bucket back, please?"<br>They had been inseparable ever since that day. Santana had told her that she only did it, to see Brittany's reaction.

Santana knew that things between them would never be the same again.  
>She knew that even if she did tell Brittany her reasons for not wanting them to get together, it would make no difference. Santana also knew that her feelings for the blonde would always stay the same, she was true to her heart and her words.<p>

She contemplated the pros and cons of telling her the three big words once more, knowing how hard it had been the first time.; _'I just have to accept the fact that I love you. I love you! And I don't wanna be with Sam or Fi__nn any of those guys. I just wanna be with you. Please say you love me back, please.'__  
><em>Santana had poured her heart out and Brittany had completely shut her down, yet she claimed to have been hers, proudly so. She had always been hers though, no question about it.

At the age of 10 Brittany had asked her; _'Why do you like me?'_ Preparing herself for the typical answer Santana would usually give her in situations where the word _why_ was involved. But that hadn't been the case this time, because Santana didn't say: _'cuz__.__' _Instead she had blurted out everything she could think of, when being put on the spot like that. "I like you because you're my opposite and you dress in dorky clothes. You like the color pink and you wear funny hats. You leave out milk and cookies for Santa and you always try to wait up for him, so you can make sure he got your wishlist. You couldn't care less what people think about you and you're nice to me, even though I can be really mean."

When they were 15, she had asked the same question again; _'Why do you like me?' _This time around, Santana didn't even have to think about it, because she knew the real reason, why she liked Brittany so much. "Because the first time I saw you, I stole your bucket and if that's now love then I don't know what is. Sandbox love never dies, unless you let it."

As they got older, the reasons as to _'why'_become clearer and Santana was able to verbally express her feelings. "Because you are my soul mate and I love you."

And because of their immediate connection, they were rarely seen apart. If it did happen, they would call to say good morning, make time to talk at some point during the day.  
>Then they would text back and forth at night, whilst watching stupid reality shows and they would do so until one of them fell asleep.<br>There wasn't a day where they didn't see each other.

But ever since Brittany had met _him_, things had definitely changed and the Latina didn't like it, not one bit.

Santana let a week pass her by, until she worked up to courage to call her best friend. The phone rang once, twice, three times, before the call got forwarded to voice-mail. This made her frustrated, because it had never happened before. What would cause Brittany to ignore her?  
><em>"Hey Britt, it's San. I was just calling to<em>_ check in on you. You've been blowing me off all week, what's up with that? Anyway, call me back, yeah? Love you."_  
>But Brittany never did call her back.<p> 


	3. Where Is My Mind?

A month managed to pass by, until Brittany actually had returned her call. She made a quick apology and asked Santana to meet her at Starbucks for coffee.

"So?" Santana said as they took their seats, Brittany with her Caramel Frappuccino and Santana with her Peppermint Mocha. "Sooo, what?" the blonde took a sip from her beverage. "What is this Brittany? Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?" Brittany simply shook her head. "No, Santana, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just, I met someone." Santana flinched "You, met someone?" Suddenly she felt betrayed by the words coming out of Brittany's mouth.  
>This was Brittany. The same girl she'd been crushing on since kindergarten.<br>All of a sudden, everything became extremely complicated.

"Santana?" Brittany reached out her to stroke her hand, but that only caused Santana to jump out of her seat. "Oh, I'm sorry." The Latina sighed deeply and Brittany could only feel confusion. "Are you angry?"

"Who am I gonna be angry at, life? Tell me who I should be angry at." Santana crossed her arms as she tried to make as little eye contact as possible.

"Santana, please."

"No, Brittany, don't. Do you not remember high school? Do you not remember us?" She knew she'd gone too far with that one.

"Ouch. How could you for one second think, that I don't remember? I remember everything."

"Then how come, you told me that if you and Artie were to ever break up, we'd be together?"

"But Santana, we tried. It just didn't work." It was true, they had indeed tried, oh god how they had tried.

"We weren't ready then. I still love you, you know." '_If we only knew back then, what we know now.__ We have the right tools now.' _Thought Santana.

"San…"

"Please, either you say it, or you don't say anything."

"I'm still yours. But, I can't be with you." Santana gave her a nod and walked out.

Brittany called her that night and she called her the morning thereafter, both calls which Santana screened. Knowing that she was yet again, someone's second choice was just something she couldn't deal with right now.  
>Brittany choosing Artie over her in high school had been one thing, because they were kids.<br>But this?  
>To Santana, this wasn't acceptable, because she really had given Brittany her all, apparently just to be kicked, when she was down in return.<p>

Maybe she was being selfish, but she didn't know how to handle it without being stubborn and childlike.  
>And Brittany knew Santana too well. She could do nothing but to give her time, let her cool off.<p>

It wasn't until two months later that they would see one another again. They literally bumped into each other at the mall. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry." Santana said. She had knocked the girl to the ground. She pinned her hair behind her ears, before she helped her to her feet. "Brittany?" Their eyes met and smiles were exchanged. Brittany looked at Santana and then at the girl standing beside her, who had her arm slightly around her waist. "Britt, this is my, friend, Ariel. Ariel, Brittany."

Brittany scoffed, yet there she stood, with the man of her dreams. What was this feeling in her gut? Was she perhaps, jealous? "Hi, Ariel." She smiled and waved awkwardly at the petite girl with green eyes and chestnut brown hair, now holding Santana tightly in her arms. "This is my boyfriend, Collin." Santana glared at him. It was the guy from the gym, obviously. Santana didn't know him and she knew that she had no right to judge, but she hated him. "So, Collin, you're the one who's been keeping Brittany from me?" She said jokingly, hoping it hadn't sounded wrong.  
>Collin grinned and squeezed Brittany's shoulders. "You refused to talk to me, I figured the best thing to do was to leave you alone, I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."<p>

Santana wasn't about to start anything, especially not at the mall. "You know what? It doesn't matter. We have to go, just trying to get some last minute shopping done before I head on out east." Brittany looked puzzled and actually kind of hurt. "East?"

Collin and Ariel took this as a chance to dodge any possible forthcoming bullets from the two best friends. "Long story short, got a job offer, took it. Flying out to New York on Thursday." Brittany crossed her arms. "How about the long story then?" She was angry. "Tell me this has nothing to do with Ariel being your girlfriend?"  
>She was angry at Santana, angry because she hadn't told her earlier. Angry that she had told her like this. "She's not my girlfriend, I'm very much single thank you very much. I don't know what you want me to say Brittany. You didn't want to give me a chance, so why should I stay?"<p>

"You stay for _me_! Santana, you're my best friend and just because I can't be with you right now, you're going to fly across the country? Sounds to me like you're running away."

"So what if I am, why does it matter?"

"Santana, I love you. I _need _you in my life, you know I can't do this without you and right know you're making me feel guilty."

"Well, your feelings aren't my priority anymore. You've now got Collin to guide you through life. I'm sure he'll do a fantastic job!"

"Why do you have to be like this? I haven't done anything to you."

"Brittany, try to understand, that this is real life and real life doesn't have happy endings." She said and walked away from her best friend.

It was all Brittany ever saw of Santana, her walking away, always.  
>Afraid to deal.<br>She was also beginning to realize, that if they didn't fix their broken friendship now, it would stay broken for good.


	4. Sing Me To Sleep

**A/N: In this chapter I will be jumping back and forth between past and present quite a bit, so I apologize if there's any confusion. Just bare with me :) The song used at the end is 'Asleep' from 'Sucker Punch'  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Thinking back on her life, would usually bring Brittany to tears, not this time though. Because she had grown so accustom to things being the way they were.<br>This was her life now.  
>She had not seen Santana in years and she had since learned how to stand on her own two feet, barely so, but she was indeed standing.<p>

"Dinner ready?" Collin asked as he glanced up nonchalantly from the paper he was reading. "I was just getting started on it." Brittany said as she paced back and forth in the living room, tidying up. "Just getting started, what is that supposed to mean? You're telling me you've been at home all fucking day without having gotten shit done?" He stared at her, his eyes were empty, yet so full of hatred. Brittany held her breath, she looked at her husband and for a minute she thought she saw the man she had once fallen in love with.  
>The man who had completed her, her better half, her Collin. But he had since long disappeared. "I just, I got distracted is all. I'll get started now, okay baby?"<p>

Brittany had really only been scared once in her life and that had been in high school.  
>When Santana had declared her love and Brittany got to see a whole different side of her than what she was used to. And when she had chosen Artie over her, she thought she would lose her forever, her heart nearly beat out of her chest that day at the lockers.<br>The words _'please say you love me back'_ echoed through her mind for the longest time and whenever they would hit a rough stitch, she would think back of that day and she would remember that Santana loved her, no matter what.  
>The love they shared for each other was like no other.<p>

Back in the days, there had been times where Santana had actually caught Brittany with her fingers down the pill bottle; _'I just want it to end, San.'_  
>When that happened, she would take her for drives along the coast, just hours of endless driving, wind blowing through their hair and just the simplicity of not having to give a fuck about anything else other than the road ahead was soothing for them both.<br>Santana more so, because she was able to keep an eye on Brittany the entire time and she knew with perfect clarity that she was forever safe in her presence.

And every time she pulled up to the driveway, he would be standing there, slightly stomping his foot, ready to start his bitching.  
>The knot in Santana's stomach had since become permanent and she felt like the worst person in the world, every time she dropped her off, because she knew that if he touched Brittany, it would be her fault.<p>

**_~3 years earlier~ _**

"Never stop." Brittany murmured as she was slowly coming to, after a three hour long nap. Santana lifted her sunglasses with her free hand, as she kept the other on the steering wheel. "Never stop, what?" the blonde looked at her with heavy and tired eyes. "Please, never stop driving. Maybe if we just keep going, we'll reach our destination and that destination will be what we've always been looking for." Santana smiled at her.  
>Even though she had had a hard time accepting the fact, that they maybe weren't right for each other, she would never completely let go. She'd fall if she did.<br>She might've been vulnerable when she was with Brittany by her side, but did it really matter, when the world would always make assumptions and she would always be portrayed in the way the world wanted to see her.  
>Brittany nuzzled her face into the nape of Santana's neck and sighed deeply as she drifted back off to sleep again.<br>Ahead of them lay nothing but miles and miles of endless highway.

When Brittany would get so down, that she could no longer function on the higher levels, she usually had Santana right there by her side, now it had been years since she had been there to comfort her. These days when she thought of Santana, she tried to only remember the good times, but it was almost impossible not to let a few bad ones slip into her cluttered mind.  
>They'd promised each other for better and for worse and when Brittany did it once more with Collin, Santana, like so many other times before, felt betrayed.<p>

* * *

><p>"Babe! Dinner!" To someone, being called babe is endearing, but the way Collin said it, was in no way endearing. Brittany slaved away in the kitchen, she remembered because she had tried to open a jar of marinara sauce and the lid wouldn't budge and instead the jar fell to the floor and broke into a million pieces. At first she just stood there, afraid to move, afraid to breathe even.<br>The lumpy red liquid ran along the tile and stuck to the floor. "What the hell did you do now?" Brittany ran to get some wet paper towels, to clean up her mess. "Nothing honey, just. It's nothing. Do you want a beer?"

That night, Brittany went to bed right after dinner, blaming her tiredness on an oncoming migraine, Collin let her be excused without any questions.  
>She tucked herself in and curled up into a secure position. Oh how she wished Santana was with her. She just needed someone to hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright.<br>Because Collin never did.

Brittany hummed to the song in her head.

_Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. __  
><em>_I'm tired __and I.__  
><em>_I want to go to bed. __  
><em>_Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. __  
><em>_And then leave me alone._

No matter how hard she prayed at night, she knew her best friend was gone from her life and she was never coming back. "San..." She breathed softly into the night.  
>It was almost as if she could feel her touch up on her. "San... Please, find me." Her voice was trembling with fear. She remembers, because her eyes were overflowing with tears. Just one more memory, and they would be flowing freely.<br>_  
><em>_Don't try to wake me in the morning. __  
><em>_Cause I will be gone. __  
><em>_Don't feel bad for me. __  
><em>_I want you to know.__  
><em>_Deep in the cell of my heart. __  
><em>_I will feel so glad to go._

Brittany feared that she would never be alright, she feared that she would be trapped in this nightmare until the end of time, or simply until she gave up.  
>Giving up, it was much easier said than done. She knew she had to try, she had to survive this, but for whom was she doing it for? It used to be for Santana. Everything she did, was for her.<br>The little hope that remained, it was always for Santana. But it was getting harder, when she knew, that there was no one on the receiving end.  
>Brittany kept giving and giving, but for what?<br>Did anything really matter anymore?_  
><em>_  
><em>_Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. __  
><em>_I don't want to wake up. __  
><em>_On my own anymore. __  
><em>_Sing to me, sing to me. __  
><em>_I don't want to wake up. __  
><em>_On my own anymore. __  
><em>_There is another world. __  
><em>_There is a better world. __  
><em>_Well, there must be…_

Pain no longer seared her body, she really didn't feel anything, yet her eyes closed on their own and sleep came upon her once more._  
><em>


	5. Army of Me

The next morning Brittany woke up with a surging pain in her stomach, it was a strange yet recognizable feeling. She clutched her stomach and crawled up in a fetus position.  
>Collin groaned beside her, hearing the sound of the alarm go off, made him furious. He swatted his hand at it and the clock went flying through the room. Figuring he still had a couple of minutes, he turned to face Brittany. "Hey babe." Brittany squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to make the pain go away, by shutting everything else out. "Brittany." he said more firmly.<p>

Collin pulled the covers off of her. He noticed her curled up into a ball and he snatched her arm roughly, from the tight grip she had around herself. "When you hear me call you, you answer!" she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, afraid to face him. "My stomach, it hurts." She threw her legs over the edge of the bed and tried to stand up, only to be pulled back down. "I said your name for a reason." He pulled her down on top of him. With hands still clutched to her stomach, Brittany tried to protest, but when she opened her mouth the words just wouldn't come out.

Collin flipped them over and Brittany moaned in agony. "Please, don't." she pleaded with him. But he was having none of it, not today.

"You used to love it when we played rough." He tore off her tank top, almost ripped it in half and threw it on the floor. Once it was off, he struggled with the bra, using both hands, determined to get it undone on his own.  
>In her mind, Brittany imagined that the hands violating her body, were Santana's. She imagined that they were soft and smelled of lavender and vanilla; she imagined Santana's soft lips nibbling at her neck, whispering soothing words in her ear. There was no rush, and her tears were those of joy.<br>She imagined this, to spare herself pain, to spare herself from hurting, from going under.

He entered her roughly with three fingers, Brittany screamed out in pain, she covered her face in shame. He pumped lazily, in his mind pretending that this was what she actually wanted, what she craved. He pretended that she was enjoying it.  
>When in fact, this was the only way he could have her.<p>

Harder, faster, her soul was burning deeply within. "Stop, please. Stop." She pleaded once more. Collin looked down at her, sweat dripping from his face, down on to her breasts.  
>She felt so disgusted.<br>He withdrew his fingers and wiped them on his boxers, which he then pulled down.  
>Fear took over and Brittany began trashing underneath him, begging him to stop. Promising him anything he wanted. He said nothing, instead he held her in place and her body weakened as she felt herself succumbing to his mercy.<p>

All she could think about was Santana's touch upon her cold, bare skin.  
>Like a dog, Collin pumped away, breathing heavily above her. The pain only grew and she knew that something was definitely wrong. Brittany bit down on her hand to keep herself from screaming out loud again.<br>After a while, Collin got bored and searched the floor for the alarm clock. "Fuck!" He pulled out of her. "Shit! I'm gonna be late, damnit Brittany!"

She was bleeding. Heavily. "Great, you're on the rag and you don't tell me? I don't have time for a fucking shower. Fuck!" he raised his hand, Brittany flinched and shut her eyes as his hand came down hard on her cheek.  
>Only once this time.<br>It stung. She hissed as she brushed over it with the back of her hand.

She didn't move a muscle, until she heard the front door slam shut. Slowly she reached for the phone on the night stand and with trembling fingers, punched in '911.'  
>"I need an ambulance."<p>

* * *

><p><strong><em>~2 years earlier,<em> _during a spontaneous visit to Lima~_**

Brittany had found out she was pregnant. As a final desperate attempt, she had decided to turn to Quinn, ask her for help.

"I don't know what to tell you, at least you have Collin by your side and you guys are really happy and you know that he will support you no matter what. Also I think that you're ready." Brittany sighed loudly. "Wait, this is about the baby, right? It's not about something else?" Quinn looked at the hardly visible bump poking out from under her shirt. So tempted to touch it. Brittany saw the look in her eyes and therefore brought her own hands to her belly and smoothed out the crease in her shirt.

"What something else, could it possibly be about?"

"Santana, and how madly in love she still is with you? Otherwise, I figured you would've been talking to her about this."

"I would, but she's never been pregnant and to be honest I don't think she even likes kids."

"Is this what it's about? Are you worried she wouldn't like your kid? Trust me Brittany, as much as she likes you, she is absolutely going to love a mini you." Hearing this somehow cheered Brittany up, but she still wasn't sure on how she was going to tell Collin.  
>Either way it would have to wait, because the whole reason for the trip had been to gather all the former gleeks together, a well over due dinner awaited them<p>

Brittany's phone buzzed. She flipped it open to read the text; _Hey babe, I won't be able to make it tonight. Call me in the morning, I'll be at the hotel.__  
><em>  
>She was used to Collin bailing on her, but this wasn't something she thought he'd even consider bailing on. They were married and compromises were to be made. Never did he consider that there were feelings at stake. Never hers, anyway.<p>

Brittany threw her phone to the ground and watched it bounce a few feet, before coming to a complete stop at Quinn's feet. Although she seemed rather calm, she was screaming on the inside.

"What was that about?" Quinn asked curiously, as she picked up the phone and placed it on the table. "Nothing, it was, nothing. It was just, Collin. He's not coming." Quinn wore a crooked smile and gave her a nod, just as if to say, she already knew. "Well then, that's a shame. He doesn't know what he's missing out on. It's okay Brittany. I'll call Santana and have her pick you up. I would offer to give you a ride myself, but after I've gotten all of my rugrats packed up, it doesn't leave much room."  
>Brittany smiled when she thought of all three of Quinn's little monsters.<br>There was Riley who was 7, Zoey who was 6 and Taylor who was 4.

"How's the hubby then?" Brittany asked, not wanting to sound too intruding, but she also didn't want it to be all about her. Although she wasn't all too coherent, deep down she did care and she was interested, she just had a hard time taking in anything at the moment.

"Oh, you mean the father of my children? I wouldn't know. He's away on business three weeks of the month, the remaining week; he spends drinking with his buddies. We're lucky if we're able to squeeze in one Sunday dinner into his busy schedule. But what can I do, the girls absolutely adore him. I can't kill their dream. I can't take it all away from them." The iPhone on the coffee table lit up. It was Santana Quinn contemplated on what to reply to her text with. "Santana will always be Santana, won't she? There will never be a change in that one." Brittany cocked her head. "What?" Instantly Quinn regretted saying anything. "Oh, nothing, never mind." She plastered on a smile as she began to text her back.

_6:33pm, From: Santana Lopez_  
><em>Hey Fabray. So, no one really told me what was happening tonight. I thought I'd swing by your place around 7:30, we're taking Ariel's car. Just hit me back, so I know what the plan is.<em>

Ariel. Quinn had completely forgotten about her and it seemed like everything was just blowing up in her face. "Are you excited about seeing everyone tonight?" She asked, trying to be as discretely as possible. Brittany shrugged. "I guess."

_6:41, From: Quinn Fabray_  
><em>Brittany's here. You can't bring Ariel, I'm so sorry, but I think it's for the best if you don't. Be here no later than 7:30, you're taking B in your car. It will be fine, I promise. Just talk to her.<em>

"Yeah, I mean. It's not like we all get to hang every day. I see Mike and Tina occasionally and obviously Puck. No one's ever tempted to come back to Lima though and I understand them. Who'd ever want to be stuck here for the rest of their life? I sure as hell didn't think I would be." The sound of something crashing to the floor could be heard.

"_MOM!_" Quinn rolled her eyes at the high pitched voice coming from upstairs. "Zoey, you better give it back. Don't make me come up there!" She knew her daughters all too well. Brittany raised a questioning eyebrow. "No, no. Don't judge me, puh-lease. I know one of them is responsible for this and that's good enough." A chuckle came from the stairs. Brittany turned around in time to see Taylor jump the last three steps. "Zoey did it." she said and ran as fast as her little legs would take her, right into the arms of Brittany. "Hey munchkin."

Quinn stormed upstairs. "You girls have 10minutes to get ready, or you're staying home." Riley stomped her feet. "But mom! No! Mike has the new DS and he promised me I could play!" Mike, the dancer, the tech geek, the pretty boy, who couldn't sing. "Mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy." Zoey repeated, pulling on Quinn's sleeve. "What child, what do you want?" She asked jokingly, and picked her up and swung her around, until she felt dizzy. Quinn threw herself down on Zoey's bed.

It felt good to just, sit still for a change, to not have to tend to anything, immediately anyway. She sat up and and exhaled deeply. "Oh my goodness! Riley! What happened to your eye?" She rushed over to her eldest daughter. "Baby, what happened?" When she didn't answer, she turned to Zoey. "I said I was sorry. But she was saying bad things about auntie Brittany." Quinn calmed herself. Even though she was furious and wanted to put them both in time out, she thought she'd at least hear them out. "Riley said that, Preston at school, said that, God doesn't like auntie Brittany, because she is a sinner."  
><em>'A sinner?' <em>Quinn got on her knees. She took her middle daughter's hands in hers. "Sweetie, what do you mean?" Zoey pressed her lips together, like she was keeping the biggest secret in the world. "Preston said that, Brittany likes girls, and he said that God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. He said that Brittany's an abomination. Mom, I don't know what that means. Riley said that auntie Brittany and auntie Tana will go to hell and I don't want that to happen, so I hit her."

They were too young, she thought. They didn't need to know about these things, not now, not ever. "Okay. Zoey, yes it was wrong of your sister to say that, but you can not hit people. Ever! Do you understand?" Zoey nodded and looked shamefully to the floor. "No one's going to hell. You can't help who you fall in love with. Riley, come here." She placed her hands on Riley's shoulders, gave them a squeeze and came down to her level. "You are my daughter and no daughter of mine is going to spread hate. I did not raise you like that. I know you know better. Riley, whatever this Preston kid has been feeding you with, he is wrong, so wrong. When Brittany and Santana were as young as you, they formed a friendship and they promised each other the world." Riley's eyes lit up. "Like you and daddy?" Quinn swallowed hard, she hated lying to her kids. But until she figured out a way to tell them what was going on, lying was all she could do. "Yeah, like me and daddy. So do you see now? That love is all the same, whether it's with a boy, or a girl, there is no difference. Whatever you choose to be, is not up to anyone else to judge, got it? God makes no mistakes. Sometimes we learn that the hard way. But I want you guys to know, that no matter the decisions you make in life, I will love you all the same and nothing will ever change that."

Quinn's phone buzzed again, Taylor picked it up, unlocked it and tried to make sense of the letters in front of her. Auntie B, what does it say?

_7:01 pm, From: Santana Lopez  
>I'm doing this for Brittany, not you, remember that. Brittany is my one and only, nothing is ever going to change that.<em>

"Let me see, it says..." Brittany saw the letters, she saw how they began to form words, but she couldn't make sense of them. "It's for your mommy, lets leave it for her read, okay, kiddo?"


	6. Damaged

There was a soft knock on the door. "Britt could you get that while I finish getting the girls ready?" Quinn yelled from upstairs.  
>With Taylor on her hip, Brittany cautiously walked up to the door and twisted the doorknob. "Well, well, well." Santana smiled sheepishly. Taylor squealed happily and stretched out her arms, Brittany handed her over to Santana. They exchanged smiles and greeted each other with an awkward hug and you could cut the tension with a knife.<p>

"Quinn are you ready?"

* * *

><p>Brittany sat squirming in her seat, as they drove over to Puck's house. Santana was going way over the speed limit, but she didn't care. There were a lot of things she'd stopped caring about lately. "Sit, still." She said in a calm voice. "I'm sorry that my un-comfortableness is unsettling to you. But I honestly don't know how to talk to you anymore." Santana rolled her eyes. She knew Brittany had something on her mind and whether it was important or not, she wasn't really in the mood to hear it. She was driving recklessly and she knew it, but she just wanted to get there. "Can you slow down?" The blonde had said it more of a statement rather than a question. "No." Santana was angry, for whichever reason, Brittany was not really interested.<p>

Instead of hearing each other out, they sat in complete silence, with not even the radio on. Brittany rolled down her window she inhaled and felt the warm summer's breeze wash over her. She wanted nothing more than to tell Santana about the baby, but the way she was driving, kept her eyes strictly focused on the road. "Okay, San, seriously. Can you slow down?" Santana made a hefty right turn and exited the freeway. She was gritting her teeth and her fists were clenched so hard that her knuckles had turned white. With nails digging into the steering wheel, she finally turned to look at Brittany. "Do you know that Ariel was supposed to come with me tonight?" Brittany stared down at her hands nicely folded on her lap. "I know. But it was your choice, you could have chosen to show up at Puck's with her, you could have chosen _not _to drive me. The decision was yours Santana, not mine." Even so, Brittany felt very much responsible now. Maybe if she had just stayed at home, Santana wouldn't be so mad at her. "But you didn't. San, I'm sorry, but I am not your little punching bag. You and I have been through it all, have we not? I still love you, you know. I will always love you and I wish that we could go back to how things were. It's my only wish. Maybe we can't start out as best friends, but I'd like for us to get to that point again. San, I want to be your friend. Can't we just start over?"

Santana's heart literally melted at hearing those words.  
>Touched and on the verge of tears, she opened her mouth to speak, when suddenly a car cut in front of them, which automatically forced her to slam on the breaks.<p>

The vehicle behind them didn't have time to stop and crashed right into the rear of their car. Santana was thrown forward and hit her head on the wheel and was whiplashed back again, while Brittany brought her arms up to protect her face as she could feel herself being lifted from her seat and thrown out the front window.  
>Santana witnessed it all, her body went numb and her eyes closed as she fell into unconsciousness.<p>

When she came to, all she could hear was sirens. Slowly she opened her eyes, and the flashing lights blinded her as she tried to regain focus. "Brittany?" she panicked.  
>Everything started to come back to her, the silent treatment, the speeding, the crash. Brittany. "Oh my god." Santana watched as the blonde was being lifted onto a stretcher.<br>She unbuckled her seatbelt, not caring that the necklace she was wearing got caught and ripped from her neck. For a second she looked down at the broken chain lying on the ground, contemplating on whether she should pick it up or not.  
>It had been a gift from Brittany and from the day she'd received it, Santana hadn't been seen without it, hell, she didn't even take it off when she showered. Right now, the necklace was the least of her worries, she thought and stumbled out of the car.<p>

Medics were immediately at her side, wanting to tend to her wounds. "No, don't touch me. Leave me alone." She snapped. "Brittany? Let me go with her." The paramedic nodded, held out his hand and lifted her into the ambulance.

Brittany's eyes were closed, but Santana could tell she'd been crying. "Is she going to be okay?" she asked and looked down at the blonde. Her clothes were torn, shards of glass still pierced her skin at the knuckles, bruises and blood, cuts and scrapes.  
>Santana felt nauseous at the sight before her.<br>"Blood pressure's sinking. Blood pressure 60 over 40. Brittany, can you hear me?" Brittany coughed, gasping for air, as blood seeped out of her mouth, never once did she open her eyes, not wanting to see the damage, the piercing pain was enough. She put her hands on her stomach and pulled up what remained of her shirt. "My baby." She said. "Please, save my baby." Santana's eyes grew large and moist. She was paralyzed with fear, the silence wrapped around her like a cancer spreading through her body.  
>How could she not have known?<p> 


	7. Break Even

"They said I lost the baby. Lost it. Funny. I had it, it was mine and then, it wasn't. It's like it was never a part of me to begin with, I just, I lost it. " Santana sat in a chair in the corner of the hospital room. Brittany had her back turned to her. Santana held back tears. "Is Collin here?"

"No, not yet sweetie. But don't you worry your pretty little head about it, he'll be here, soon." She lied through her teeth.  
>The truth was, when she had called him, he had sounded legitimately concerned, but that was it. Concerned. As soon as he'd heard that Brittany would be fine, he said that he had to fly back to LA and that when Brittany was up on her feet again, he would send for her. "Quinn is on her way, she's bringing the kids too I think. If you don't want them to come, I'll call her and tell her." Brittany shook her head. "It's fine."<p>

Santana crawled into bed with Brittany; she stroked her hair and kissed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I'm sorry." she kept repeating the words, until they both fell asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window.

**_~Later~_**

"Knock, knock." Quinn opened the door and sneaked in, with three little fair-haired children following. "You guys go sit over there." She motioned to the chairs in the corner. "And be quiet, remember what we talked about." She ran her fingers through her hair and felt the crease on her forehead grow bigger. The picture of Santana and Brittany in bed together, sleeping, holding on to each other for dear life, brought back so many memories. "Hey." Brittany croaked as she felt the presence of people other than Santana, in the room. "Hey yourself." Quinn said and hastily walked up to her. "Hi." She sounded so sympathetic and that was not how she wanted to come off. "I couldn't find a sitter, I'm sorry." She whispered into Brittany's ear, who let out a weak smile. "It's okay."

But it wasn't okay, she wasn't okay. "Auntie B?" In vain, Brittany tried to hold back the tears that threatened again, as Zoey walked up to her bedside. "Are you okay?" the little girl asked, she tried to put on a brave face. Brittany squeezed her hand. "Yeah baby, I'm okay. Peachy with a side of keen, don't worry sweetie." Zoey nodded and leaned in closer. "Riley said she's sorry." Brittany looked over at her friend's eldest daughter sitting in the chair, slumped over the arm rest, with her little sister on her lap.  
>She crooked her finger at the girl.<p>

Riley made her shameful walk up to Brittany. "You know I heard you, right?" Riley nodded. "And I know your mom already talked to you about it. But, I wanted to tell you that, it's okay. I'm not angry. I know that you were standing up for yourself and I also know that sometimes, it's hard, to accept certain things. But Riley, sweetie..." Riley stroked her hand over Brittany's cheek. "You formed a friendship, and somewhere along the way, you fell in love. I know." Brittany shook her head. "No, not_ 'somewhere along the way'_. I've loved her always. Santana and I... Look, one day, you will understand, because one day? You will find, what I once had." The two came to an understanding and they would never speak of it again, because they both knew, that their time would come.

"We should go." Quinn said and slightly waved her hand at her kids. "Tell auntie Brittany bye." One by one the kids walked up to hug her. Quinn lifted Taylor, who could hardly reach. "I love you auntie B, feel better, okay?" Brittany chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Bye my angels, be good!"  
>Quinn sent them to wait outside. "Get some sleep. I will call you tonight. Everyone sends their love, they're all very worried. At least now, we'll all be able to sleep tonight, because you're okay and for now, that's all that matters. I love you, pretty girl." She took a deep breath and without uttering another word, she left the room.<p>

"San?" Brittany stroked her hair. "Hm?" Santana, who was still wrapped tightly in Brittany's arms, opened one eye as she looked up at the blonde. "You impress me." Santana who was now fully awake, sat up. "Thank, you?" She said unsure of what Brittany was getting at. "And behind that, you touch my heart."  
>Brittany had always been good with words in Santana's presence.<br>_'When did you get so smart?'_

"Do you remember when we were little? When we used to sneak on Nick at Nite and watch Disney channel movies and just sleep in. I just want to feel that feeling you felt waking up on Christmas Day. I guess life isn't as exciting anymore. Because now I can hardly remember what it used to be like, before we worried about money and how much we would make. I'd rather stay in my head forever, at least there it's safe to play, there are never any bills to be paid." Santana nodded her head in agreement. "Remember when it was pouring rain and we would run outside to play pirates?" A sly smile spread across the blondes face. "Because the rain was our safe haven, it was never ending, just like the ocean."

Santana closed her eyes and thought back of all the major moments, that had defined and changed their lives.  
>She remembered when everyone was really into Pokémon, and wanted to be one, literally. But her and Brittany's occupation would be Pokemón trainers instead Brittany used to say that all the other kids belonged to them, in her mind they did anyway.<br>Before all the high school drama, before they even started dating, she just wished that they could go back. "Growing up sucks, I would give it all just to be able to rewind it back. Do you remember our sleep overs?" The sound that escaped Santana's throat was un-describable. She used to live for those nights. "Really, Britts? I remember. Orange soda and Super Smash bros. Those were the days. Damn, I wish we could go back."

When they were younger, they hadn't been much different from other little girls. They played with dolls, they played dress up, they shared secrets.  
>They did all the things that little girls do at that age .<br>Brittany believed that fireflies were fairies, but then again; she also believed that friendships would last forever.


End file.
